I was extremely overthinking. Caught up in myself. World is painful.
I cried several times for past few months. In night when no one is around. I cried my heart out, remembering what I've lost can't be replaced, can't be brought back.
I am not master of my reality, or can choose which one I can perceive.
All those negative thoughts made my heart weaker. It feels like it'll be out of my mouth any moment. But I wanna try just one more time If world has any meaning to offer.
My fault is just that I seriously thought developing my skills will be a better trade-off for a degree.
I wish I knew better back then. I could’ve took something else to do. People don’t know what they want. Maybe I’m not a better machine for them. I deserve to be killed by this factory ecosystem.
Technical job description which tries to sound technical and professional by adding words like agile development and “team player”. If it is written on job profile then I believe job requires that kind of person and thus they are ready to pay good amount of money for that. But annual package of average non-technical person is probably higher than a developer here.
When I was a 10 year old kid I first saw a computer in my neighborhood. They only used it for playing music and creating documents. I used to rush down there every other day to play flash games and pinball. Slowly I developed interest for computers and when I got my first computer in 8th standard I almost tried everything I can find on internet, from some fun programming to installing Linux.
19 | GNU/Linux | Philosophy | Art
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