Hahaha! A quick follow up. The browser and slack are innocent here, though they add some fuel to the fire. It's the update thing to blame. Apparently, 16 gigabytes isn't enough to compile some C++ these days.
*Dad wakes me up in the morning* Dad: How's your work going? Me: Great *asks me about more work stuff* Dad: How about you start your own software company? You can set up an office at one of those properties we have. Me: (My business skills: 0) Oof