All this time, I had thought that the "free" in "free (monoid | monad | applicative)" meant "gratis" because you automatically get the algebraic structure instance by virtue of the data structure. However, it turns out that "free" means "unrestricted" ("libre") because the instance is only restricted by the structure's laws.
I dug through this weird shit and...
It seems that GRUB was tried to use the modules left over from the older Gentoo installation. Some modules must have changed since then, hence the error.
I had to completely reinstall the bootloader and put it manually in the EFI boot table. Otherwise it just wouldn't boot. Seems working so far.
INSTALL GENTOO evangelist.
Sometimes good. Mostly evil. Not for the faint of heart.
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