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It's exhausting to have that degree of instability in my basic mood or attitude.
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Just when I think I've hit my low I usually am resilient, so I always feel like I just need to wait on myself. That's why I've never been in a rush for therapy even though I always felt it would help. But hitting a low happens either too much or too easily (rarely both), and I can't live the exhausting life of "there's no point to anything i do let me die" to "ooh look at all these shiny cool stuff life has to offer let me prod at it and squeeze it for as much value as possible."
@wasamasa Hm. I mean, the beach episode would have worked with the asexual thing if they didn't frame it the usual way animes do. Although at the very least the comments made by the characters could be construed any which way so I didn't see that as much of a problem. And for me this anime was the opposite--it's peak was in the middle where things get revealed about the world. The meh parts were the beginning and end of the anime.
@wasamasa The magic of the beach episode.
@crushv God invented hail as rain 2.0
@prydt Well if you're gonna go retro-tech might as well go all the way. 😎
@prydt You can still break through here and there, and it makes those relationships more special in the long-run. If those people have held out long enough, chances are they will always be there and available even if you have large chunks of time in isolation or without conversing with or contacting anyone. Social anxiety isn't necessarily really the only or even primary thing holding me back tho, tho it was in the past. Perfectionism and hyperfocus are good contenders.
@prydt Oh yeah. I also am not very good at maintaining enduring connections throughout my life, especially as I sift through different institutions at different stages in my life. Having those can make a big time difference for looking for employment, and it can shift away some of the look-up/search costs away from you. I've seen this happen very often for more extraverted *and* agreeable people.
@prydt In my case it's mostly my social anxiety that makes it difficult, and my inability to smooth talk myself into a good deal. Also not having much to show for. Location is in my favor since I live in an urban area with many transport options, although the particular part of the area I'm in has only two train stations albeit with very long routes (which can kind of make up for it).
@prydt I wouldn't say so. It ultimately depends on how more or less picky you are about the jobs you'll take + available job postings (itself a matter of ratio of marginal return to marginal employee cost for the employer) + reserve labor supply + your experience & social connections. Location can be relevant, but if it's relevant its relevance is usually a function of transportation availability and population density. For some people getting a job can take months. Some find it in a few weeks.
@tibike where do you even get this stuff
@abs Glad to hear of the improvement!
Gynephilic demi ♂️; 23 yrs old; (Marxist-Mutualist); INTP, LII-0 TiNe (INTj)
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