Leeloo boosted

It’s wack that Cheers exists in the Adventure Time universe. That means Frasier must also exist.

Leeloo boosted

an eternal question is how much of a counter-asshole do you get to be to an asshole who started it

dating as a top is a lot like
job hunting

can you explain any long periods of unemployment?
don't you have any references and credentials?

they'll say
sorry, but we need someone who has already done this position

if you're cute, you can possibly get lucky and find work doing service
be nice, look pretty, smile, and just do as you're told

sometimes you can ask the same employer a few times and they'll give you a try

and when you already have some options, it always just seems easier to get more offers

they start to say
we would love to hire you
please come handle my goods and wares

Leeloo boosted

On October 19th, 1991, a single atomic nucleus, smashed into the Earth's atmosphere at 1.5 quintillionths of a meter per second less than the speed of light. That is 99.999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,51% the speed of light. It quickly disintegrated into a shower of light and subatomic particles, seen by the Fly's Eye Observatory. This was known as the Oh My God Particle.

The single particle had an estimated 50 joules of energy, about the same energy as a baseball thrown at 100 km/h.

theres always more hot babes at arbys

theres always more dumpsters behind the warehouse

theres always more hags in the swamp

theres always more sluts in the ocean

theres always more bitches in the sea

my two primary talents:
- thirst trapping
- gay with a car

I bought a vinyl record for the first time today.

Hopefully it gets here soon.

Leeloo boosted

i never killed emerald weapon maybe i should play through ff7 again before the remake just for the cred

Leeloo boosted

in the original final fantasy 7, cloud had giant hands. just absolutely humongous bongo drum arms. real lego slammers.

but look. in the remake, he has hands that normal human beings have. what the fuck is this censorship?? the sjws are just never going to stop, are they? it's ridiculous.

w-well i heard girls code better when they dress like this.... s-sorry i’m new and i just wanna fit in with the cool programmers ;~;

ok so

marry fuck kill:

tony the tiger
count chocula
captain crunch

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